Use A Pencil
I’ll be honest. Before Yoga Teacher Training (YTT), my only experience with meditation came in the form of a group setting during a yoga session. I never practiced meditation on my own. I never even thought about it. I can barely sit down to watch an episode of a thirty-minute TV show, let alone take time to just BE PRESENT.
That’s exactly what meditation teaches. To be present. In the moment. Without judgment or expectation. To take time to slow down and just notice – our emotions, thoughts, body, surroundings. As a part of YTT, I am practicing meditation on my own, but starting simply with five minutes a day. It takes discipline.
I am quickly learning the power of meditation.
After our latest meditation session of YTT, our teacher immediately posed the question “what defines you?” She asked us to grab our journal and start writing about it. Including the good, the bad, and the ugly. Jotting down any thought that ran through our mind as a part of the definition. It’s safe to say it was emotional for all of us.
Then, we ripped that piece of paper out of our journal…and crumpled it up.
My mom tells me, when I was 9 I wanted to be 10, when I was 14 I wanted to be 15 – you get the idea. I get impatient, and tend to want something “better.” I am also a planner by nature. I never go to the grocery store without a list, I decide what I am going to wear to work the night before, and I have a calendar for everything. I used to have my whole life “planned,” but that plan was put on hold, the timeline altered.
I mentioned in the past, the anxiety I felt about the course of my life after my divorce. Will I get married again; will I ever have children; will I ever progress further in my career? And even as blessed as I am in my life, how lucky I am in love, and as much as I tell myself not to care…I still worry about those things. But, on that piece of paper, I threw away my fear of never reaching my life goals, or successfully achieving my BIGGEST dreams.
"Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be."
On a fresh piece of paper, we wrote down how we want to be defined at the end of our YTT journey. I will live in the moment. Be grateful every day for the blessings I have in my life. Realize I am not in control, and be okay with it. Have faith my BIGGEST dreams will come true.
What defines you? If you’re not content, ERASE IT, crumple up that piece of paper and redefine you.